A Primer on Spiritual Bypassing
Hello friends!
When I first got into spirituality, I was really naive about the entire enterprise. It seemed like it was being sold as the ultimate way to end suffering. I mean heck, the Buddha did literally say that at some point. And so it makes sense that if enlightened masters no longer suffer, that same formula they followed could also work for anyone who is suffering. However, it’s not quite that simple, because ending rebirth is ending a much subtler level of suffering than what most people are actually bothered by. And very often, we don’t even know what is wrong. We know something is off. Maybe it’s identity? Craving?
Surely, those are underlying everything. And “going to the root of the problem” kinda makes sense. But on the other hand, if your baby is crying, would you tell them to stop craving to nurse and be loved? Of course not! And the Buddha also knew this, which is why he mostly taught people to start with kindness, compassion, and generosity. Once those build up as stable character traits, the mind becomes clear enough to see further down the root. In other words, as Pema Chodron says: Start Where You Are. Pema teaches, like the Buddha, to start at the heart level. She doesn’t teach this to busy CEOs. She teaches it to prisoners, and it helps them see their time in prison as a sacred opportunity to heal without so many distractions. As Ajahn Brahm likes to say, the only difference between prison and the monastery is you have more work to do at the monastery.
Sometimes, the obvious thing is actually the path forward. Like eating right and exercising for health, rather than finding the latest biohacker peptide stack to health-maxx.
For me, spiritual bypassing is when a feeling comes up and, instead of healing what’s underneath it, I try to observe it away—to see it as insubstantial, not mine, and let it go. That’s not a system designed to heal trauma. I half suspect the Buddha might advise most Buddhists today to just quit their meditation retreats and go find a good therapist. I believe healing starts with learning how to be kind to the parts of us that hurt.
On the other hand, it really is true that having a spiritual path can sometimes give us some divine light, love & peace, like a really good drug. That’s great if we remember to use that lovely feeling for reparenting our inner child. But if we just enjoy it while it lasts, it can perversely dissociate us from that inner child even more. It’s like if nobody in the house is eating, and then suddenly mom gets some food stamps, but she eats all the food herself while baby watches.
Goenka retreats are a useful case study because people are taught basically one response to whatever surfaces: observe it and don’t react.
I’m really happy if you benefited from your Goenka experience. It’s also true that it has harmed many people, and the method itself is not built well for trauma survivors. That’s why I wouldn’t recommend it in general, although I can never tell anyone what would work specifically for them.
I put the survivor accounts at the bottom so you can skip them if you already know what this kind of harm looks like.
The Dark Side of Deep Dives: When Intensity Meets Unhealed Wounds
A Goenka retreat is ten silent days of watching the body in a very focused “scanning” type of way, while old sankharas—mental habits—come up. The practice is to notice the sensations without reacting. If you have trauma, that trauma tends to surface in a powerful way in any kind of silent retreat, but one requiring intense focus, even more so. Intense practice without emotional groundwork is kinda like revving an engine without oil. Things can seize up.
This isn’t just my idea. Anyone with a recent history of mental instability is not allowed into a Goenka retreat, nor most Theravada Buddhist retreats, because the risk of destabilization is already known to be high (three times greater long-term dysfunction likelihood compared with an ayahuasca retreat).
The strange part is that rejected applicants are offered no alternative. That leads many of them to lie in order to get accepted, violating the first principle of spirituality and Buddhism: honesty.
I’ve heard stories—including some from people close to me that have been quite scary for me to deal with—of people coming out of these intensive retreats not enlightened, but chaotically shattered into something resembling DP/DR or Dissociative Identity Disorder: multiple personalities, with amnesia.
There are reports of psychotic breaks, deep depression, and suicide. A 2024 Financial Times article covered hidden incidents, including Megan Vogt’s heartbreaking story. The accounts I found on Reddit include someone becoming dissociated after a near-death sensation, somebody whose OCD and violent thoughts intensified, and a family member becoming manic after being sent home early. I put those links at the end.
There are plenty of “dark night” stories on r/vipassana too.
If I start dissociating on day five, is that a warning or just another thing I’m supposed to observe? Probably should keep quiet about it since I lied on my application to get in…
For me, this is where equanimity can turn into spiritual bypassing. It can do the same thing with injustice: ignore it and call that inner peace. Remember some of the Buddhist responses to the Myanmar coup?
I would rather have people learn how to meet suffering with love before any of that starts.
Loving Kindness: The Cozy Blanket Before the Storm
My own experience was weird. I had an awesome childhood, but I was depressed from age twelve to twenty-six because of how much suffering I saw in the world. Therapists had no answers for me. Some even told me I was basically right to be depressed.
Metta meditation solved it instantly.
I realized it doesn’t help to spread negativity just because misery loves company. I’ve been preaching metta ever since 😊❣️. Still trying to realize that deeper tho!
In the Metta Sutta, you wish ease and happiness to beings, yourself included. Metta calms the hindrances and builds goodwill. It also lets you want suffering to end without that wish turning into desperation or fear of failure.
Theravada and most Mahayana Buddhist traditions treat metta as essential groundwork before the deeper work of unweaving the sense streams that make up the mind.
Goenka puts metta on day ten. Briefly. Mostly to share merit. I think that’s backwards. It skips the Buddha’s kindness-first approach, which he taught was necessary to bring the mind to a state ready for real nibbana meditation. By the time the kindness I’d want available when trauma surfaces arrives, nine days of the intense part are already over.
My buddy Oliver spent five weeks on a cave retreat following Ajahn Sona’s metta meditation teachings. It healed his cPTSD better than any shrink session. What ultimately helped him most was Cinnamon Ayahuasca, altho he has yet to try my new Ultimate Psychedelic Protocol.
You don’t have to take Oliver’s experience as a recipe for yours. I’m including it because it is one reason I take the “metta first” possibility seriously.
True Insight: Not Just Watching, But Unraveling the Knots
My second problem with Goenka has nothing to do with trauma. I don’t think watching perception and unweaving perception are the same thing.
Vipassana, as I understand it, is supposed to unweave the illusion of a unified reality and self, to open experience into nibbana. Goenka’s body scanning can make anicca—impermanence—very obvious. But some Theravada practitioners say it can leave you at the “unified witness” level: there is still somebody back there watching the whole show.
And if you think about it, any technique that requires strong mental focus causes more stress. How could more stress be the path to the end of stress?
Punching bags don’t help rid you of anger; they just help you use it better. That’s why temporary calm might flip to distress if traumas aren’t fully unwound.
One Goenka volunteer told me she had never heard of anyone reaching stream entry through his method. I think the practice would go much further with more of the actual unweaving:
What If Everything Is Already Perfect? (v2.0) - Nirvāna & Enlightenment explained 🫶🏿💗
Introduction & Navigation
Trauma-Informed Retreat Alternatives
I’m not anti-retreat. Retreat actually sounds like a nice time, almost like a vacation but more super spiritualish. But if you know that sitting with intense internal material can destabilize you, there are gentler ways to explore what meditation can do.
I’d start with metta. If that felt steady and I still wanted more, maybe trauma-informed mindfulness or Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction with a therapist. If I still wanted a retreat after that, I’d ask Insight Meditation Society, Plum Village, or any other retreat I was considering one thing: what happens if I start destabilizing? Is pausing the practice treated as an ordinary option?
A trauma-informed retreat shouldn’t turn continuing into a test of character. Your path is yours to shape.
Thanks for reading. Drop your thoughts in the comments, or ask to join my therapycircle chat on Signal. I also have a lot of resources here on my Substack, so make sure to peruse those at your leisure. 😊😊😊💕🙏🏿
Stay grounded, stay kind—may all beings, including you, find ease. 🌌
Postscript: Goenka Survivor Anecdotes
I’m putting the worst accounts down here instead of making the whole article one long horror story. They’re anecdotes, not incidence data. Some are rough. Skip them if you don’t need them.
Psychosis after a Goenka retreat, described as a possible “dark night,” with hallucinations, paranoia, and hospitalization: The user recounts extreme visual hallucinations, feelings of conspiracy, and being committed to a psychiatric hospital after day ten.
Psychosis following a second ten-day retreat, leading to ongoing delusions and medical intervention: The original poster describes the rapid onset of psychosis, warnings about genetic predisposition, and advice to avoid intense practices because of the risk of brain damage.
Vipassana-induced psychosis in a family member, resulting in mania, hospitalization, and months of destabilization: The relative was asked to leave on day seven and then descended into severe psychosis. The poster criticizes the center’s inadequate response.
Anxiety about attending a first retreat after reading accounts of psychosis, depression, and suicidal thoughts: One person was about to attend their first retreat and got scared after reading those accounts. Replies include people talking about breakdowns and buried trauma coming up hard.
Risks of intensive retreats such as Goenka’s, including psychosis and bad-trip-like experiences: In this thread, people describe psychosis after Goenka retreats. One person compares going off the rails on day five to a psychedelic crisis.
Rejection from a retreat because of a history of mental illness, followed by discussion of psychosis, depersonalization, and suicide risk: Comments describe psychotic breaks, resurfacing trauma, and why Goenka-style practice is unsafe for vulnerable people.
A story about someone becoming suicidal after a retreat, beginning with escalating anxiety: The anxiety kept escalating until the person became suicidal. People in the thread also describe deep depression, nihilism, and unprocessed trauma coming up.
A retreat ending in psychosis—or a dark night—with three-dimensional hallucinations and psychiatric commitment: This detailed personal log describes jhana-like states turning into a breakdown on day ten, with mixed techniques exacerbating the crisis.
Severe harm to mental health through an exacerbation of OCD: One poster says the retreats made their OCD much worse, with intrusive thoughts and compulsions becoming debilitating. They warn people with similar conditions to be careful.