Yes, evolution programmed us to want sex and love. That should not be a source of misery, but modern society is making it extremely difficult to satisfy these needs. That's why Tamera.org promotes their communal free love path.
We could feel awe at the power of nature to bring people together to realize the state of being in love. Well, you haven't been in love yet. But it's really something powerful like a psychedelic paradise if the 2 people are mentally stable enough and have community support to keep it going deeper.
Or you could feel that nature is too controlling and you want to end rebirth, which isn't nihilist... It's what Buddha preached. Nihilism is the idea that nothing matters. If nothing actually did matter than it wouldn't feel bad to be a nihilist. So it's just an oxymoron.
I have been in love already but I didn't have relationships.
I could feel in love so easely I think nowadays
Yeah I feel like I'm a slave of nature wich disturbs me.
My feeling is more anything lead to deception and suffering, but I'm note sure I can express it clearly it's a strange feeling I have, like if I'm limitated and not free.
Btw, I'm not even close to date anyone, lol it's the second time I'm blocked after asking a contact. Why are they doing this, can't they say they are not interesed and that's it. Angry time today
Mental illness is skyrocketing so it isn't surprising you are getting lumped in with all the creepy stalker guys. That's the price you pay for living in a modern large societiy where nobody knows you.
I get her contact, and I thought to ask her, please don't block me I'm nice lol. I didn't and got locked within 10 minutes after the first message. xd and unfortunately. Hopefully I could see her again maybe as Bastia is a little city and just clarifiy a bit about it
Well now you are being a creepy stalker. There is nothing to clarify. She doesn't want to talk to you. End of story. Not interested. You should be thankful you didn't waste more time with her.
Sure, you can, but you are forcing a conversation she has decided she doesn't have the energy for already, which is an abuse.
She has her reasons for blocking you rather than telling you she isn't interested. You can apologize for the other creeps, but she has no reason to believe you aren't one of them. Seems to me the drama isn't worthwhile.
I absolutely would not blame her for blocking a random guy she doesn't know. It isn't a good way to meet someone. It should happen more naturally.
I meet all people here in Corsica in the street, no matter if the kind of relations, it's a good way to meet people, I might no know anyone here if I didn't do this
Abortion definitely is murder at a certain point but nobody agrees on what that point is exactly. In Buddhism it is when the heart starts beating generally. But what most people especially women don't realize is that abortion can ruin a woman’s life as she can spend the rest of her life mourning the loss of her baby (and she might even ruin her chance for another).
Nobody can say for certain what the cut-off is but 5 weeks seems to be better than the later cut-offs in my opinion.
Laws are generally not helpful for many reasons. I am not proposing any law. People should be policing themselves and their communities without relying on government. And more importantly, women need support so that they will not feel pressured to abort. That communal support is missing these days except in tribes and intentional communities.
You mention to not live with the person and not having sex at the beginning, I think I can understand why, as the attachment could become to intense and disturbs clarity.
It's for these reasons you recommend that right ?
Is it true, Idn, I never had sex with someone, so I don't know what could happens.
What i know if it could be difficult really difficult for me, just being with a girl can trigger intense desire to have sex, physical contacts. How could I resist, and should I ?
Also I considered sex without ejaculation even if I don't know if I could resist always, but most time I would like to not.
Also sex could feel different if you do or not isn't it ?
Now I don't know if I should wait for having sex or not after having read that beceause I also engage with girls so I could probably be in a situation it could happens once idn when.
The big thing for me is shame trauma, the most important thing to consider.
anxiety, insecurities, honesty.. Things that are influence by shame of course.
You mentionned about communication, I should definetly find a way to communicate about this.
It's difficult to say " I feel shame, I feel as treatened as I feel attracted by you, if we have sex, I could probably freak out, I have intrusive thought, sometimes I have wave of anxiety that feels really painful and I'm trying hard to dissimulate it at any moment , as it feels deeply painful to be seen like this, I would probably not like to see your friends with you yet beceause I will put on me what a pressure I feel I coudn't handle yet"
And the level of sadness I feel, I don't know how I could be with someone as I feel broken.
Few months ago i dreamed a doctor tell me I was going to die. I went flirting then I announce to the girl about that, and I putted my hand on her chest and pulled of her heart.
So yeah maybe you could think I shoudn't engage in any relations like this or not.
In my opinion I have 21, one life, once young. It can be a therapeutic practice to go into relationship like this, as I have social anxiety, and as it is something that would make me very happy.
I felt so much unhappier when I lacked all the opportunities in my life beceause of social anxiety, never again.
But I have to consider that I'm in healing process and quite unstable and beceause of this I could generate pain for me and my partner.
It's true that being alone is very difficult, I have non stop sadness, seing girls is like a powerful narcotic or I don't know, it awakes something some hope some life , I could feel in love in less than one day I guess. I wasn't like this before, weed trauma does this to me and it intensified more and more with years at the point I'm enough sensitive now.
I feel I'm also more shooted thanks to a lot of metta, therapeutic reading and my own actions.
Otherwise I should also give a look into polyamory but I will figure this out.
Yes like i said, when you jump into bed with someone you are creating an unplanned future which you might regret. Better to have sex with the woman you plan to raise children with, who you know well, etc etc, but obviously in modern society we are all just trying to stay somewhat sane while choosing the least of the bad options we have.
You might look into cuddle parties or acroyoga or contact improvisation dance groups so that you can get some of the happy feeling of touching a girl without it being sexual. Imagine if you were to be a father now in the condition you are in, and with a baby mama who might be even worse…
It might be really bad to have a baby now, I'm not prepare yet.
Can't you use contraception ?
Coudoms for exemple, they must be more secure way to avoid having babies
You don't have sex with girls you don't want baby with Joel ?
Why not enjoy life and having sex and love, it's great , I'm more like this, I don't want to wait 10 years to be with a woman I want a baby with, I don't even know if I want a baby first.
But maybe I should wait a bit before sex.. Or not I will see by my own experience.
There is no contraception that works 100%. Condoms are one of the least reliable forms even when used correctly. I try not to have sex with girls i don't want a baby with, but the problem so far is that I don't know them really well until after sex and then all of their insecurities begin pouring out. I encourage you to join a free love commune rather than ruining your life with an unplanned pregnancy with a ton of baby mama drama as I did at age 26. In a free love commune the children are taken care of by the community so you are free to enjoy.
His mom told me she was infertile. But she also didn't reveal that she was a sociopath...
Courts say i can talk to him or visit anytime but in practice, his grandmother won't allow it. Probably soon he will contact me himself once he gets access to internet.
sometimes it makes me nihilist to know that all these things about love are programmed for evolution species. I don't know why I have this feeling.
Yes, evolution programmed us to want sex and love. That should not be a source of misery, but modern society is making it extremely difficult to satisfy these needs. That's why Tamera.org promotes their communal free love path.
We could feel awe at the power of nature to bring people together to realize the state of being in love. Well, you haven't been in love yet. But it's really something powerful like a psychedelic paradise if the 2 people are mentally stable enough and have community support to keep it going deeper.
Or you could feel that nature is too controlling and you want to end rebirth, which isn't nihilist... It's what Buddha preached. Nihilism is the idea that nothing matters. If nothing actually did matter than it wouldn't feel bad to be a nihilist. So it's just an oxymoron.
I have been in love already but I didn't have relationships.
I could feel in love so easely I think nowadays
Yeah I feel like I'm a slave of nature wich disturbs me.
My feeling is more anything lead to deception and suffering, but I'm note sure I can express it clearly it's a strange feeling I have, like if I'm limitated and not free.
No, you were infatuated. Being in love requires reciprocity.
How did it feel exactly?
I dont know my first romance was at seven years old.
It feels profound but from childhood I already have a big difficulty to express my émotion.
Once I say to my first love "je t'aime" by accident, just naturally, and was afraid she heard.
I wouldnt say things change so much I have the same difficulty for closeness and expressing vulnerabilty.
My first romance was at 5yrs old. Well i had like 3 romances at 5. Most challenging time of my life omg.
Btw, I'm not even close to date anyone, lol it's the second time I'm blocked after asking a contact. Why are they doing this, can't they say they are not interesed and that's it. Angry time today
Mental illness is skyrocketing so it isn't surprising you are getting lumped in with all the creepy stalker guys. That's the price you pay for living in a modern large societiy where nobody knows you.
how could I avoid this lol ?
I get her contact, and I thought to ask her, please don't block me I'm nice lol. I didn't and got locked within 10 minutes after the first message. xd and unfortunately. Hopefully I could see her again maybe as Bastia is a little city and just clarifiy a bit about it
Well now you are being a creepy stalker. There is nothing to clarify. She doesn't want to talk to you. End of story. Not interested. You should be thankful you didn't waste more time with her.
If I see her I just wanted to say that she could simply say she isn't intereseted, no need to lock me that's it
Sure, you can, but you are forcing a conversation she has decided she doesn't have the energy for already, which is an abuse.
She has her reasons for blocking you rather than telling you she isn't interested. You can apologize for the other creeps, but she has no reason to believe you aren't one of them. Seems to me the drama isn't worthwhile.
I absolutely would not blame her for blocking a random guy she doesn't know. It isn't a good way to meet someone. It should happen more naturally.
I meet all people here in Corsica in the street, no matter if the kind of relations, it's a good way to meet people, I might no know anyone here if I didn't do this
And present my apologise for the other beceause maybe she's scared now
Damn you're right I should realise this before
what is your opinon about abortion ?
Abortion definitely is murder at a certain point but nobody agrees on what that point is exactly. In Buddhism it is when the heart starts beating generally. But what most people especially women don't realize is that abortion can ruin a woman’s life as she can spend the rest of her life mourning the loss of her baby (and she might even ruin her chance for another).
I heard a woman once on instagram that speak about abortion is like going groceries so normal for her
It's not a murder before 5 weeks So ? You agree with this ?
When can we consider an human is a human being ? Personally I was thinking as He or She exist, like ADN is created.
Myself I was considered this as unethical. If I say this in public I might have problems too.
And I was not sure that forbid abortion could be a good idea.. Women could do it illegaly, what is your opinion ?
That woman sounds mentally ill.
Nobody can say for certain what the cut-off is but 5 weeks seems to be better than the later cut-offs in my opinion.
Laws are generally not helpful for many reasons. I am not proposing any law. People should be policing themselves and their communities without relying on government. And more importantly, women need support so that they will not feel pressured to abort. That communal support is missing these days except in tribes and intentional communities.
Btw I'm interested about card games ! Where do you buy this ?
I gave a link to a list of them
the link doesn't work for me that's why I asked.
Are there also useful for friendship ?
Yes works for friendship also. Just ask ai to find you these card games
Your article is intersting !
I could mention many points about it
You mention to not live with the person and not having sex at the beginning, I think I can understand why, as the attachment could become to intense and disturbs clarity.
It's for these reasons you recommend that right ?
Is it true, Idn, I never had sex with someone, so I don't know what could happens.
What i know if it could be difficult really difficult for me, just being with a girl can trigger intense desire to have sex, physical contacts. How could I resist, and should I ?
Also I considered sex without ejaculation even if I don't know if I could resist always, but most time I would like to not.
Also sex could feel different if you do or not isn't it ?
Now I don't know if I should wait for having sex or not after having read that beceause I also engage with girls so I could probably be in a situation it could happens once idn when.
The big thing for me is shame trauma, the most important thing to consider.
anxiety, insecurities, honesty.. Things that are influence by shame of course.
You mentionned about communication, I should definetly find a way to communicate about this.
It's difficult to say " I feel shame, I feel as treatened as I feel attracted by you, if we have sex, I could probably freak out, I have intrusive thought, sometimes I have wave of anxiety that feels really painful and I'm trying hard to dissimulate it at any moment , as it feels deeply painful to be seen like this, I would probably not like to see your friends with you yet beceause I will put on me what a pressure I feel I coudn't handle yet"
And the level of sadness I feel, I don't know how I could be with someone as I feel broken.
Few months ago i dreamed a doctor tell me I was going to die. I went flirting then I announce to the girl about that, and I putted my hand on her chest and pulled of her heart.
So yeah maybe you could think I shoudn't engage in any relations like this or not.
In my opinion I have 21, one life, once young. It can be a therapeutic practice to go into relationship like this, as I have social anxiety, and as it is something that would make me very happy.
I felt so much unhappier when I lacked all the opportunities in my life beceause of social anxiety, never again.
But I have to consider that I'm in healing process and quite unstable and beceause of this I could generate pain for me and my partner.
It's true that being alone is very difficult, I have non stop sadness, seing girls is like a powerful narcotic or I don't know, it awakes something some hope some life , I could feel in love in less than one day I guess. I wasn't like this before, weed trauma does this to me and it intensified more and more with years at the point I'm enough sensitive now.
I feel I'm also more shooted thanks to a lot of metta, therapeutic reading and my own actions.
Otherwise I should also give a look into polyamory but I will figure this out.
That's it, what do you think about what I wrote ?
Yes like i said, when you jump into bed with someone you are creating an unplanned future which you might regret. Better to have sex with the woman you plan to raise children with, who you know well, etc etc, but obviously in modern society we are all just trying to stay somewhat sane while choosing the least of the bad options we have.
You might look into cuddle parties or acroyoga or contact improvisation dance groups so that you can get some of the happy feeling of touching a girl without it being sexual. Imagine if you were to be a father now in the condition you are in, and with a baby mama who might be even worse…
It might be really bad to have a baby now, I'm not prepare yet.
Can't you use contraception ?
Coudoms for exemple, they must be more secure way to avoid having babies
You don't have sex with girls you don't want baby with Joel ?
Why not enjoy life and having sex and love, it's great , I'm more like this, I don't want to wait 10 years to be with a woman I want a baby with, I don't even know if I want a baby first.
But maybe I should wait a bit before sex.. Or not I will see by my own experience.
There is no contraception that works 100%. Condoms are one of the least reliable forms even when used correctly. I try not to have sex with girls i don't want a baby with, but the problem so far is that I don't know them really well until after sex and then all of their insecurities begin pouring out. I encourage you to join a free love commune rather than ruining your life with an unplanned pregnancy with a ton of baby mama drama as I did at age 26. In a free love commune the children are taken care of by the community so you are free to enjoy.
you can also combine two contraception tools wich reduces grealty risks
Indeed. You can also play Russian Roulette, but just because it won't kill you 99/100 times doesn't mean it's a good idea.
You get your child by accident or desired at this time ?
Do you talk or see your child sometimes ?
His mom told me she was infertile. But she also didn't reveal that she was a sociopath...
Courts say i can talk to him or visit anytime but in practice, his grandmother won't allow it. Probably soon he will contact me himself once he gets access to internet.